We’re walking in the Lakes from Penrith to Boot, arriving on a Saturday night after a week cross country. Did I mention that Cumbria is in a complete stupor public-transport-wise? I’m vexed nearly to tears because I’ve just spent about an hour and a half trying to find a route from Boot to London on a Sunday. That we have to do this is not my fault (it’s Matt’s).

The service at Tourist Information Whitehaven left a little to be desired – Boot is not Bootle, madam. This mistake took a long time to even identify let alone resolve.

Cumbria public transport is really badly integrated. For example the Dalegarth to Ravenglass steam railway arrives two minutes after the X6 bus has departed for Barrow. There’s no excuse for this.

I never liked the country anyway. It’s all Matt’s idea. He likes endurance holidays and I just follow him around for a fortnight every summer.

After this holiday, me and the country are through.