If I had a child

At the risk of coming across like the Food Lobby, if I had a child I’d be tempted to anticipate the rumoured obesity warnings as follows:

Dear Council,

I’m concerned that my daughter Kylie is becoming unfit. I feel that her school, as the place where she spends one third of her waking life, is significantly responsible.

The healthy lunches you introduced last term are an undeniably good start. But I’m afraid she’s developed a marked preference for the pizza and chips you’ve been serving her for the previous five years.

What with her father’s near brush with death and the absence of bike lanes round here, you’ll understand why she’s afraid to cycle. She does walk to and from school including a 500m detour to avoid the notorious gang which congregates every evening at the top of the High Street.

I understand that the 2 hours of exercise her school is obliged to provide for her each week is whittled away to a little under 90 minutes after the bus journeys and getting changed. It’s such a shame you decided to sell the playing field to Barratt.

I probably don’t have to remind you of the health implications of physical inactivity and overweight. I look forward to hearing the measures you propose to take to help Kylie avoid them.

Yours sincerely,


cc. School


3 thoughts on “If I had a child

  1. As a non-traditional father in the United Traits of Panoramica, I am very involved in my childrens social & physical growth. I view them as if they are Sunflowers who deserve the best liquids (fresh juices & distilled water), fertilizer (organic fruits, vegetables, and grains) and sunlight (outdoor play & activities) in order to properly grow.

    I constantly argue with school officials about the food they serve including useless milk & garbage snacks. The hearty school lunch consisting of processed chicken parts, corn oil french fries, syruped fruit chunks, & chocolate milk will drain some of the energy I gave them for breakfast. I have to deal with the fact that during the day the school pisses on my little Sunflowers. I now make sure my children eat excellent breakfasts & dinners.

    For breakfast, my children eat grapes, pineapples, oranges, nannas, & berries for breakfast nothing else. This will give them the energy they need for the entire day.

    For dinner I make sure they eat 2 vegetables (baked sweet potato, zuchini-squash-onion hash browns, steamed brocc or carrots etc..) with a whole grain item and an occasional fish or chicken. Kick in a natural multi-vitamin
    and an Omega 6 capsule.

    My optimal breakfasts & healthy dinners beat the school 2-1 in this game of nourishment. On weekends I beat them 3-0 and wash the filth from my stout plants.

    Shell out the cash for activities: football, modern dance, ultimate frisbee. Live in a good neighborhood with a largepark and playground.

    Most parents are ignorant to what the schools put into their childrens stomachs & add more garbage to their weedlings diets when they are at home (weedlings can grow in or on anything and require 3rd world ingredients such as bad water, milk, pig feet).


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s