How to win a fight against 20 children

The ones in Barkingside usually shuffle aside when I walk through them in front of KFC windmilling my arms. Come bonfire night time I may need this briefing though.

Although not this one:

“Again, if you have forewarning that you’ll soon be coming to blows with twenty children, absolutely wear a cup. If you do get struck in the groin, under no circumstances should you place your hand on your genitals to massage away the pain – touching your privates while surrounded by minors is illegal in many states, and frowned upon in the rest.”

Mr Moo saw this first. Still in pugnacious mood, I see. Maybe he forgot to take the bins out again.


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